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Don't blame the lettuce.

"When you plant lettuce and it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.  

You never blame the lettuce. 

Yet, if we have problems with our friends or family (or students or co-workers), we blame the other person. But, if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. 

Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. If you understand, and you show that you understand, the situation will change."

- Thich Nhat Hanh


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