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The fear of commitment



Pete Davis on why we love people who commit but don't commit:

“Why do we love committers but act like browsers? I think it’s because of three fears. 

First, we have a fear of regret: we worry that if we commit to something, we will later regret having not committed to something else. 

Second, we have a fear of association: we think that if we commit to something, we will be vulnerable to the chaos that that commitment brings to our identity, our reputation, and our sense of control. 

Third, we have a fear of missing out: we feel that if we commit to something, the responsibilities that come with it will prevent us from being everything, everywhere, to everyone. 

Because of these fears, the tension sticks around. We act like browsers, we love committers, and we’re too scared to make the jump—so we’re stuck.”

Found via Shane Parrish's newsletter, Brain Food.

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