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Identity

"The more an idea is tied to your identity, the more you will ignore evidence it is false. People seem to have no trouble finding reasons to ignore the merits of ideas they dislike. To continue to grow and learn, you must be willing to update, expand, and edit your identity. In many ways, growth is unlearning."  ~ James Clear
Recent posts

Choosing how to spend your time

  Stephen Covey with an example of how slow in the moment is fast in the end: “It’s true that becoming an empathic listener takes time, but it doesn’t take any-where near as much time as it takes to back up and correct misunderstandings when you’re already miles down the road, to redo, and to live with unexpressed and unsolved problems.” Source: Farnam Street: Brain Food

The truth

  “We tell ourselves we don't speak the truth because we don't want to hurt others, but it's far more likely that we don't want to bear the consequences of our choices. We tell a white lie to a friend that we're "busy" the night they ask us to do something when we don't feel like going. We don't tell our partner we're mentally and emotionally checked out of our marriage, not because it will hurt them, but because of the consequences of this choice. We don't flag the problem at work because we'll be tasked with the solution. The stories we tell aren't protecting others. They're protecting ourselves. ” -Shane Parrish

Reality

 "Instead of trying to fix what is unresolved in your mind, try saying, 'In this moment of life, reality is like this.' Acceptance lets the heart speak." -Cory Muscara

Reciprocity

  "Reciprocity underlies everything from basic human kindness to the most complex trade systems. At its core, reciprocity is the simple idea of treating others as they treat us—giving what we get. From this simple principle grows a vast web of social interactions and expectations that shapes nearly every aspect of our lives. Many people seem to expect the world to hand them things without effort. This is a poor strategy because it doesn’t align with the human behavior you can observe around you every day. Reciprocation teaches us that if you give people cynicism and curtness or nothing at all, you are likely to receive the same. But if you give people an opportunity and the benefit of the doubt, you will often be on the receiving end of the same behavior. Become what you want to see in the world, and the world will return it to you. If you want an amazing relationship with your partner, be an amazing partner. If you want people to be thoughtful and kind to you, be thoughtful and k

Go lightly

"It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig. Lightly, lightly – it's the best advice ever given me... So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly." Source:  Aldous Huxley,   Island