The Rules
This is from a rather new journal that I received from Krush last summer. I haven't officially named it yet but it tends to reflect some of the rules I have for my life. Specifically around what I will and will not tolerate from people around me.
This entry is dated 10/08/2004:
Broken, fearful & wounded are not attractive qualities. Ever.
Ritual Invitations
If you take a looksy over to the left side of this page you'll see that I have a link to the website for Oriah Mountain Dreamer. I absolutely adore her work and have read and re-read her books many many times. Right now I'm reading (again) The Invitation.
I remember the first time I read the book, reading a passage about solitude and it made me feel sad that I had no experience ever truly being alone with myself. Over the years I have gotten better at appreciating true solitude. The kind of solitude that leaves you sitting alone, in silence, lost in the sounds of your own thoughts.
This is the passage that I read last night and as I read it this time, I was filled with happiness knowing that I can absolutely find peace with my own company:
"When I ask if you can be alone with yourself, I am not asking if the idea of being alone appeals to you but if you can actually be present, with yourself, for longer than a couple of hours, without flipping on the TV or the radio or picking up the telephone or a magazine, if you can truly find and be at peace with your own company."
Many of my readers know that I officially call myself A Believer but that my spiritual beliefs touch on many many traditional religions including Paganism and Wicca. I am often asked what rituals I perform regularly and the only one I perform every single month is the ritual of solitude. Sitting in silence, sometimes with candles flickering and lights dimmed but always finding a quiet resting state where I can let all of my thoughts fade away and concentrate on nothing at all.
I don't have a formal process for this ritual but what I have below captures the essence of my quiet ritual:
Shut off the phone.
Lose the remote.
Unplug the stereo speakers.
Close the lid on the laptop.
Tuck away the journals, books and magazines.
Put the pets outside.
Grab a pillow for my head.
Lay flat on my floor in front of my fireplace.
Focus on feeling my breath.
Feel every inhale and exhale.
Start at the head and feel every muscle loosen up.
Stop at the toes.
Repeat as necessary.
Start at the head and feel my features.
Feel my eyelids, closed softly.
Feel the air of my breath through my nose.
Feel the skin on my cheeks.
Feel everything, all the way down to my toes.
Feel it with my MIND. Not my fingers.
Repeat as necessary.
If distracted with thoughts sit up and write those distracting thoughts down on a piece of paper.
Silently promise to tend to them later.
Lay back down.
Relax.
Lose all thoughts.
Feel the blood running through my veins.
Feel the tingle of my skin.
Hear the natural sounds that surround me.
The furnace kicking in.
The breeze through the trees.
The dogs collar in the background.
Hear the world I live in.
It's a good world.
See the darkness of the inside of my eyelids.
See how when I focus on them they start to sparkle.
See the faces of people that empower me.
See people I love.
See things that I find beautiful.
See myself - smiling, happy, glowing, bright.
See everything good that I have today.
Visualize everything good that I want coming to me.
Relax.
Feel.
Hear.
See.
Repeat.
Return to my life.
I Believe
I believe that if we stand up and take responsibility for our mistakes we risk many things but the knowledge we gain is worth much, much more.
I believe that risk and failure and success and experience and about a million other things build character...or take away from it.
I believe that happiness is not about good luck or good fortune but rather a decision that we make with each experience that we have.
I believe that all peace and happiness starts within and moves without. I do not believe you can reverse that.
I believe we can waste a lifetime blaming ourselves or blaming others for the problems in our life or our world or we can spend a lifetime doing something about it.
I believe whether you make a conscious decision or not, you are setting an example for somebody.
I believe like attracts like, who and what do you want to attract?
I believe good memories are better than good inheritances.
I believe what you say isn’t half as important as what you do.
I believe the best things in life are free – free of judgement, free of discrimination, free of bias, free of hatred.
I believe if you can only follow one thing, it should be your intuition.
I believe it is OK to act now and ask for forgiveness later if you can explain why it was important for you to do that.
I believe the only person you are required to trust is yourself but I believe you’ll be happier if you learn to trust others too.
I believe in nature and nurture – you cannot have one without the other.
I believe friends and family are the foundation of faith.
I believe being selfish is an asset not a character flaw. You can be nothing to nobody if you aren’t something to yourself.
I believe you should be the absolute center of your own universe. I do not believe you should be alone in that universe.
I believe that you should laugh with your children loud and often and if you don’t, you are in the wrong business.
I believe that you will never win if you don’t play the game.
I believe that stress and worry and heartache exist but for how long, how much and how often is entirely up to you.
I believe that self-esteem, or the lack thereof, can be sensed from great distances.
I believe missing someone can build or break a relationship.
I believe that trading your heart for a promise of safety is a terrible trade.
I believe the quality of your life is as good as the quality of the people you share it with.
I believe the best thing you can do with what happened to you yesterday, is to learn from it today.
I believe how you feel on the inside is visible on the outside. Clothes cannot cover everything.
I believe the best thing you can put on each day is a smile.
I believe that the sights and sounds that fill our space also fill our souls.
I believe in paying attention to the details. If this is your one shot at life...don’t you want to see, hear, learn from and experience every inch of it?
I believe in evolution. I have evolved. Have you?
I believe life is very, very hard and from time to time throws us unexpected curveballs. I also believe that despite the hard times and curveballs life is still very, very good.
I believe in faith that accepts change and gets out of the way for personal growth.
I believe very strongly in the life philosophies that work for me. I encourage you to believe strongly in whatever works for you.
I believe people can do anything they want all by themselves. I believe our experiences are maximized when we share them with someone we care about.
I believe what is true today may not be true tomorrow and what is true for me may not be true for you -- and I believe that is OK.
What do you believe?
*nods head*
Have you ever received advice from someone that was CERTAIN that their recommendation was the ONLY possible solution?
Have you ever encountered a person that made you feel like their attempt to help you was actually smothering the LIFE out of you?
Have you ever received advice from someone that actually came across as UPSET when you decided to go a route other than what they suggested?
Oh, haaaaaaaaaaave IIIIIIIIIIIII ever...
I saw this quote today and my head almost bobbeled off I nodded in agreement so hard:
"The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right."
~Henry Ward Beecher , US abolitionist & clergyman
Reason #128 why you should learn to sit quietly:
"Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
~Nathaniel Hawthorne
Balance
"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
~Carl Jung
When I grow up I wanna be fireworks.
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"
~John Kerouac
How many great leaders do you know?
"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent."
~Douglas McCarther
Great leaders aren't just in the workplace. They lead volunteer efforts, churches, sports teams & communities. Where do you see great leaders?